Cute boys half my age.

I was going to continue the update of my life in this post but instead of all the boring & somewhat crappy things I have decided to write about my new friend Livingston.

I met him the day my son left for basic training. -Livingston, McCrutcheon (sp) and my son were all flying out to Fort Jackson together. I took them to lunch as their last supper in Minneapolis. It was a nice afternoon considering it was somewhat of a melancholy occasion. I admit that I especially liked the attention from these young strangers, who were baffled by my age and the fact that James is my son. My ego felt very good.

Well I saw Livingston at James' graduation and because James didn't have a cell at the time I gave him my number so he could keep in touch. I got a text message from him about a week ago and we have been exchanging messages ever since.

He is sweet, clever and naughty in equal portions. One of those slightly nerdy smart types that I fall for so easily. The only issue is that he is just about half my age! Since he is 1200 miles away and all of our communication has been via email or text it is easy to forget this. I had a friend tell me that if I was a near 40 year old man dating an early 20 something girl I would be a rock star.

I am not certain I want to stop flirting with this boy. I enjoy it. I like the attention and I have grown accustomed to getting his messages. I have started looking forward to them as a bright spot in my day. I am not sure I want it to stop.

If this is right then why does it feel shady?

James at Basic Training

I'm Back!

I am certain that what limited readership I had is now gone due to my inactivity so I guess I will post this just for the sake of posting my thoughts. If you are reading it, Thank you.

The past 6 months have been crazy. I started a new job on January 3rd and I feel like I haven't slept since. We have gone through so many changes that I have lost track of most of them. The most exciting, by far, has to be a complete infrastructure overhaul. We now have ALL new computers, monitors, server, backup system, wiring, router, and everything else. Clean start - not only did we upgrade all of the technology but we replaced the furniture as well. It is freaking awesome. I have spent the last month rearranging, assembly and installing software/hardware. I love the result but it has been tiring. Like having two full time jobs. One doing the production management and day to day client care and one as IT support. Tomorrow we go live on our new network and I can go back to sleeping at night.

Outside of work, what little time I spend there, has been just as crazy. My son joined the military in December and shipped off to basic training at the beginning of April and my daughter just finished her last year of junior high. They are so grown up. It is awe inspiring to look at them now. They aren't supposed to be this old yet. They aren't supposed to have their own lives yet. They should be more dependent on me. How come they don't realize this?

I have so much more to write but I need to get some sleep. I have an early start and a very long day ahead of me tomorrow. I miss posting here though, so I will be a more frequent writer from now on.

G'night.

Christmas Memories.

Well, Christmas is over and I wish I could say it was wonderful but I would be lying. It was "mostly" great but no where in the neighborhood of wonderful.

I do have some good memories though and mostly they were captured on film. I forgot to bring the disc with the rest of the photos on it with me today but I do have this picture - I took it and framed it as a gift to each of my kids. It only took an hour and a half and half a box of Milk bone dog treats to get this picture!

Merry Christmas - From Rudy & Henry!

Missin' the Kissin'

Last night I started taking an inventory of all of the things that I miss about having a "roommate." I guess mine wasn't really a roommate situation but more of a "we don't know how we are supposed to act so we should definitely still behave like a couple most of the time. This will make it easier and ultimately make it much more complicated than it needs to be" situation. If that makes sense to you then you are ahead of the game. I am still a bit baffled by how we could do that for so long. Don't get the wrong idea. It was not all bad, in fact it was mostly terrific. Here I was living with someone who I should for all intents and purposes be bitterly mad at but I thoroughly enjoy both him and our friendship so what's a girl to do?

So here I was taking this inventory. Mostly in hopes of putting together a list of all the things that I LOVE about living alone but my plan back fired on me terribly. Instead of feeling better about the solitude I started to feel worse. I realized that while "pretending" to be a couple wasn't necessarily healthy it did provide me the best of both worlds. I like to share things. I like to talk about my day and have someone else tell me about theirs. I like to share the chores and the mundane daily tasks. Along with this, I am a VERY tactile person. I love to snuggle. I love to kiss and be hugged. I like having someone who feels the need to rub their hand along my back when they walk past me, even if it is just out of impulse. I had all of these things and a best friend rolled into one.

By now you are asking yourself "If it was so great why is she not still with this person." Well, recently a friend of mine broke up with his girlfriend. I asked what went wrong. He gave me one of the best answers I have ever heard. What's more - it fit my situation PERFECTLY. He said "Our inner demons refused to get along and play nice." Well there you have it, in a nut shell, why I am single.

So, back to my inventory...

I realized that kissing is one of the things I miss the most. All of the kissing. The "good morning" peck on the forehead. The kiss "good-bye, see you later." The kiss on the back of the neck that said "thank you for cooking dinner." The "boy you are silly and gullible" kiss on my cheek. The "are you thinking what I am thinking" kiss on the more passionate side of life. All of them. I miss them all. Even if they never really had all the love and passion that should have backed them up. I still miss them.

What's a girl to do? In my moment of weakness and self pity I decided to do the one thing that would cheer me up and quite possible find that needle in the hay stack - a man who wants to fill the kissing void. I posted an ad on Craigslist. (Don't judge me - I REALLY don't want to pay any of the online dating sites. I am not ready for that quite yet so a quick fix was necessary).

Anyway - while the ad on CL was not my proudest moment it did succeed in breaking me out of my funk. Not because I found a tremendous amount of likely candidates but because the emails are SOOOOOO ridiculous. In order to demonstrate my point I will first tell you what my ad said:

"Kissing"

"I need a kiss. I just got out of a relationship and am not looking to jump into anything but I really miss the kissing. I am looking for someone who I click with who wants to do nothing more than that. I can hold a conversation, I think I am funny, I am tall and height/weight proportionate. I have good hair and good teeth. Want to know more? Just ask. I will tell you anything you want to know.

We will need to have chemistry, so for the sake of narrowing my search I will give you the things I am typically attracted to. Here goes:

Tall - over 6 feet
Average to muscular build
No long hair or facial hair
Non-smokers only
Smart & funny

Last but not least, the ability to write an email that is more than one sentence, has capital letters and uses punctuation."

Simple, to the point, not too demanding, right? I thought it was an OK post. I didn't include a bulleted list of all the things that I REALLY like in a man or all the things that I absolutely won't tolerate. I even left off "Must have good, clean teeth." This is a big one for me. I am OK with crooked but if I can see the plaque on them I am out. Ewwww, gross.

A brief overview of my responses:

- 23 in total
- 3 pictures included. Two were of the guy who emailed and one was a random picture of lips.
- 1 asshole lecturing me on the two typos I had in my post. Funny that he had at least 4 misspelled words in his email, not including the half a dozen intentionally incorrect words that he used to try to make his point.

Here is a cross section of the replies I have received in the past 12 hours:

Mr. Robberts said, "sure! would you like to chat?" Yes, that was the sum total of his email. Brilliant.

Mr. Anderson was much more wordy. In fact I am not sure what ad he was responding to because it certainly was not mine. You can view his response here.

Anonymous Emailer #1 said, "ru real or phony?" I could ask him the same thing. Good job on the complete sentences though!! Your mother should be proud.

Jeremy said, "I know how you feel."

Mr Lubrant is the guy who told me off for my typos. To read his PERFECT email click here!

Anonymous Emailer #2 said, "got to try this-----see if you get past the 1st sentence--in this format you should use anything available to make a point----" This one falls under the "things that make you go mmmmm" category.

Mr. Sadrai decided to quote e.e. cummings in his email. You have to read this one.

Anonymous Emailer #3 said, "Hi there, I am a married 25 year old attractive white mail. I am well endowed endowed, and looking for some hot discreet fun. If interested get back to me. Pic 4 pick." I am confused. What does the size of his johnson have to do with his ability to kiss? And if you are ONLY 25 and already unhappy in your marriage then you should get the hell out. WTF???

Mr. Billingsley said, "Hey! How are you sweetie? Wanted to let you know that you are beautiful adn I would love to get to know you better. If you are interested let me know. Here are few ways to get to learn more about me and check out some photos." He then included the link to his business website and his myspace page. Funny how I did NOT include my picture in my ad and yet he thinks he knows how beautiful I am. C'mon buddy, get a clue.

Mr. Ford said, "I also love to kiss, it seems that a good kiss is capable of of insulating us from all our cares, and giving us a special "high" unlike any other. That being said, I personally lack the confidence to harbor any notions of being selected as your partner. I would however, like to submit this picture. I do wish you well, d." The picture he included was a random shot of lips. I was especially intrigued by his overwhelming self confidence. So very attractive. I guess I should give him credit for trying but holy crap dude.

Anonymous Emailer #4 said, " If you pick me,will you wear a kinda tight casmere sweater ?" He actually wrote more then this but this was the best part of his email.

Brad wrote, " Hi there, How are you doing? You sound very interesting and appear to be a very good looking lady. I am very interested into you. I LOVE Short hair." Hmmmm, again, I DID NOT POST A PICTURE - and hey buddy, I don't have short hair!

There were more responses then this and they just keep coming. I would like to thank the few guys who wrote quite thoughtful emails that were not smarmy.

I started this whole thing by trying to put together a list of things I liked about living alone. I then got side tracked into making a list of all of the things I miss about not living alone. The ad I posted on CL was done in a moment of desperation and depression by a woman whose life is in a flux right now. I had it in my head that I would feel better if I could just find someone to fill the void. Well I didn't find someone through CL (not that I had any real expectations of doing so) but I did find something better. I found out that I am not ready to let another man into my life.

So for now I will just try to be happy with what I have and not dwell on the little things that I feel like I am missing. I will get used to it eventually, right? God, I hope so.

But - if anyone reading this knows any cute, tall, funny, SMART, single men who want to spend an evening having good conversation and/or kissing a cute, tall, funny, SMART, single woman - let me know!!

Too Many Pictures? Really? Can there be?

Henry - SOOOO freaking cute.


The Boys are learning to get along.


Henry is going to outgrow Rudy soon. Then the real trouble will begin!

Today's Favorite Musician - Grace Potter & the Nocturnals

I heard them on Pandora today. I LOVE them. Her voice is amazing.

One Laptop Per Child

I had heard about One Laptop Per Child program a while ago but had never really checked it out before today. A friend of mine, Aaron Landry, donated one through the Give One, Get One program and received his a few days ago. While I have not seen it he did a nice post on his blog giving the details of the new laptop. Inspired by Aaron, today I went to the site and donated a laptop on behalf of my children. I think this is a brilliant program. I encourage any and all of you to think about getting involved.

Another online assessment.

ENFP - "Journalist". Uncanny sense of the motivations of others. Life is an exciting drama. 8.1% of total population.

Take Free Jung Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

The Portait of the Champion (ENFP)

The Champion Idealists are abstract in thought and speech, cooperative in accomplishing their aims, and informative and expressive when relating with others. For Champions, nothing occurs which does not have some deep ethical significance, and this, coupled with their uncanny sense of the motivations of others, gives them a talent for seeing life as an exciting drama, pregnant with possibilities for both good and evil. This type is found in only about 3 percent of the general population, but they have great influence because of their extraordinary impact on others. Champions are inclined to go everywhere and look into everything that has to do with the advance of good and the retreat of evil in the world. They can't bear to miss out on what is going on around them; they must experience, first hand, all the significant social events that affect our lives. And then they are eager to relate the stories they've uncovered, hoping to disclose the "truth" of people and issues, and to advocate causes. This strong drive to unveil current events can make them tireless in conversing with others, like fountains that bubble and splash, spilling over their own words to get it all out.

Champions consider intense emotional experiences as being vital to a full life, although they can never quite shake the feeling that a part of themselves is split off, uninvolved in the experience. Thus, while they strive for emotional congruency, they often see themselves in some danger of losing touch with their real feelings, which Champions possess in a wide range and variety. In the same vein, Champions strive toward a kind of spontaneous personal authenticity, and this intention always to "be themselves" is usually communicated nonverbally to others, who find it quite attractive. All too often, however, Champions fall short in their efforts to be authentic, and they tend to heap coals of fire on themselves, berating themselves for the slightest self-conscious role-playing.

Joan Baez, Phil Donahue, Paul Robeson, Bill Moyer, Elizibeth Cady Stanton, Joeseph Campbell, Edith Wharton, Sargent Shriver, Charles Dickens, and Upton Sinclair are examples of Idealist Champions

Career Test or Things that make you go MMMM.

Career Inventory Test Results Extroversion |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 83% Emotional Stability |||||||||||| 36% Orderliness |||||||||||| 33% Altruism |||||||||||||||||| 53% Inquisitiveness ||||||||||||||| 46% You are an Inventor, possible professions include - systems designer, venture capitalist, actor, journalist, investment broker, real estate agent, real estate developer, strategic planner, political manager, politician, special projects developer, literary agent, restaurant/bar owner, technical trainer, diversity manager, art director, personnel systems developer, computer analyst, logistics consultant, outplacement consultant, advertising creative director, radio/TV talk show host.

Take Free Career Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Clock Watching.

I am in a transition period with my job at the moment, I am technically still a sales person (Account Manager, as it were) with my company but have been offered a promotion. My new job title with be Digital Sales Analyst. This means I will be working with the national team of nerds that dig the electronic aspect of what we do as much as I do.

NOTE: For those of you who do not know what I do, I am in Litigation Support. This is a fancy way to say that I do document management for law firms, mostly pertaining to large document productions to be used for litigation purposes. If it is documentation that needs to be shared, whether in paper or electronic format, I can help you share it. I love what I do. I love the industry I am in. It is a different beast then most of the other careers out there. There is no college, vocational or accredited schooling for what I do. It is very niche. It does help if you are either a) a tree hugger or b) a computer geek. I am a bit of one and a lot of the other.

So anyway, back to my point. I am currently in a sales position. I love the meeting people aspect of it but I am not very good at the hounding clients for meetings and then keeping on them until they send us a project. I have been an operations manager in this industry for the past 6.5 years and this is definitely a change of pace for me to be in sales. But as I said, I love the industry, so I thought I would give it a shot.

The new job that I have been offered is a promotion. I will be working with MANY (like 30) office in my region to help them find more efficient ways to do things, effectively manage their projects, find appropriate business partners when necessary and assign tasks to our internal resources. It is a combination of project management, technical support, and customer relations all rolled into one.

The problem is that I was not happy with the offer they gave me for the new position. It comes with a salary and a bonus structure. The bonus structure is based on a set of criteria that are completely out of my control. While I will be in a role that will allow me to help folks to more thoroughly understand what they need to know I will have no control over whether they do their jobs or not. I am not really OK with my bonus being dependent on the O/I or Total Revenue generated. It is a crap shoot. I work in a cyclical industry where there are months when the revenue stinks. So, I went back and counter offered the salary. My new boss is traveling for work right now and does not have time to discuss it with me until Thursday.

Meanwhile I am not really digging the idea of making cold calls to clients who I will then have to hand off to someone else and I have already followed up with the clients I already work with.

What to do? Watch the freaking clock, that is what!

Dan Fogelberg Died Yesterday.

I know that this post will put me well into the "uncool" category but I can't help it.

The first time I saw Dan Fogelberg in concert was with my ex-husband. I knew who he was because my mom was a big fan when I was little but I wasn't what you would call a fan. I walked away from that show with a different opinion. I became a fan. He was great. His songs, while a bit schmaltzy and sentimental, are great. There is something for everyone. They are obviously written from the heart and he performed them quite beautifully.

Dan died from advanced Prostrate Cancer. He was diagnosed in 2004 and was too far gone. To read more about Dan's life check out his website at www.danfogelberg.com.

I wasn't able to find a good video of Dan singing this song so you will have to enjoy this one.



If you are a male who has never been checked for Prostate Cancer please have yourself checked. If caught in the early stages it can be treated. My dad is living proof!

Today's Favorite Musician.

Matt Nathanson

The Island of Recalled Toys.

Way freaking funny!

Living "Alone"

One might argue that with two small puppies running around my house I am not really alone but they do sleep occasionally. These moments when they are sleeping is when it hits me that I live alone. I have no one to make idle chatter with. There is no one there to listen to my boring stories of how my day was or what I am craving for dinner. No one to watch silly TV shows online with. No one to make fun of my choice of shows (Jerry Bruckheimer RULES!). I only need to pour one glass of soda. When I go to bed I will have no one to snuggle with. I run my errands alone, I unpack the groceries alone, I have to wash and dry the dishes by myself...

I really don't like it. I miss him. Yes, I know I shouldn't.

*Sigh*

This moment of wallowing in self pity brought to you by ABC's newest show "At Least I am not that Crazy Cat Woman."

A trip to PetSmart with the Boys or "The Great Weigh-In"

I have taken to bringing the boys with me when I go to buy their food. Mainly because I can and secondly because I think Rudy needs more exposure to other dogs. I like taking them there because there is a veterinary clinic on site and their scale is available even when its staff is not.

The first time I took Henry to PetSmart was on November 20th. Three days after we picked him up. He weighed in at a whopping 1.9 lbs. He was itty, bitty, to say the least. I am averaging a trip to PetSmart every 10 or 12 days now. Here are the results:

November 20th (pre-Rudy):

• Henry - 1.9 lbs
  

December 8th:

• Henry - 4.6 lbs
  
• Rudy - 9.9 lbs
  

December 15th:

• Henry - 5.4 lbs
  
• Rudy - 10.2 lbs
  

I can't believe that Henry has almost tripled his body weight since I got him. He was so tiny. He is still pretty small but he has also grown at least 3 inches in the length from the tip of his nose to the base of his tail.

Funny Friday Finds

I have to credit Will (our FABULOUS sales assistant) for this one.

"Worst Band Names of 2007"

Which one do you want to see?? I can't wait to check out some of their websites and listen to their music. I can only imagine what the music of Gay Witch Abortion must sound like!

Good Karma? Why Bother.

I am having a rather bitter day today. I have been sick since last Friday night. I was hungry and being unfamiliar with my new "hood" I asked the policeman who provides protection to the liquor store on the corner where I should eat. Both he and the clerk said "You should go to Monh Wok. It is right across the street. Their food is really good and very cheap." I was stoked! I headed across the street and ordered me up some House Fried Rice, Chicken with Cashews and Cream Cheese Wantons. I couldn't wait to get it home and dig in. I was starving.

I got home, I ate about a third of the fried rice and decided that I would save the rest for the next day for lunch. How completely efficient was I? I got a crap load of food for hardly nothing and would be able to get at least 3 meals out of it. I put the leftovers in the fridge and went about my merry way. Until it hit...

About an hour later I felt nauseous and knew it wasn't going to be a passing thing. I was right.

I spent the next 48 hours bonding with my bathroom and trying to keep my puppies from jumping on my belly. What a way to spend the weekend.

On Monday I hopped out of bed and thought "Wow, I feel so much better I think I will be OK to go to work." I did and I was (mostly OK, that is). I made it through the day with a few twinges here and there but nothing to really worry about. I kept to eating simple things that wouldn't upset my belly. It worked for the whole day.

Monday night I met some friends out and saw the band of a co-worker play. I wasn't feeling 100% but I wasn't too bad. I kept telling myself I would be fine. I was fine, all the way up till I ate hotdog when I got home at 11 that night. Bad choice!

All I could say was "here we go again." I was at home for another two days. This time I didn't have the luxury of sending one of my pups to stay with my ex, I had to deal with their crazy while vomiting. It was horrible. I finally went to the doctor yesterday only to have him tell me that I should have come in on Saturday and brought the offending food. It turns out that I have E-coli coursing through my veins at extremely high levels. Yep, confirmed, I was poisoned.

I am a good person. I do the right things (most of the time) and I am nice to people. So why, I ask you would this happen to me? I just wanted to enjoy some freaking fried rice!!!!

I *Heart* Lemon Sorbet

There is a candy & gelato store in the skyway downtown that I just love. They make their gelato and sorbet fresh everyday and it is awesome. Today I took a client there for a treat. She had never had gelato before. She enjoyed it very much. She had pineapple and I had lemon.

PS - I also love being able to expense a trip to a treat store!!

PSS - Remind me later to take a picture of the statue this particular candy store has in the storefront. It is freaking hilarious!

I am a Chair Whore...or Addict, whichever you prefer.

I have purchase yet another chair from Craigslist. Yes, I am aware that I do not need 9 Wing Back Chairs. Yep, that's right, I have bought 9 chairs from CL in the past 3 weeks. None of the colors match but they are all fantastic and someday maybe they will all match.

This is the newest one...at only $15 it was a STEAL!! Yes, it is pink!!