It's been a while....

Well, it is obvious to me that I pretty much suck at this whole blogging thing. I really have no excuses either. I have a blackberry so I am connected at all times, I can email posts in, I can post mobile photos...like I said, no excuses.

A lot has happened since I posted last. Many of you know that my son is in the Army. He joined in April of 2008. It has been a hard 18 months for his father, sister and I. We hadn't realized how close we were until we were far apart. Well, recently the distance has gotten further. He left on Wednesday to head to the middle east. He will spend two weeks in Kuwait and then who knows where he will land. The only bright side is that he is a military cook and not a tank driver or something more "battle" oriented. It is still very difficult to reconcile my baby boy with the soldier that he has become. I want him home where I can keep him safe.

True Beauty & Common Courtesy

Lately I have been watching this show on TV called "True Beauty." For those of you who haven't seen it I will fill you in. They picked 10 beautiful people to move into a house together and every week they put them through a beauty challenge (photo shoot, commercial filming, wardrobe contest, etc.) to see who is the most beautiful. These are 10 of the shallowest people I have ever seen. They are all superficially lovely to look at but that is where their beauty ends. What the contestants don't know is that they are also being judged on their inner beauty. The are being watched by hidden cameras and their every move and word is being recorded and critiqued. Every week one of our beauties must leave so they pick the two in the bottom and send them to the Hall of Beauty. There is, however, one final challenge to test their inner beauty.

The final challenges have so far been:

1. Help the delivery man with the full arms open the door.
2. Pick up the bottle that the man tossed on the ground in front of you on the sidewalk
3. Help the crying child to find her mother.
4. The gardener accidentally sprays you with the hose, how do you react.
5. Bike messenger falls of his bike, do you help him and make sure he is alright.

Each week they let one of the final two go back to the contest and they reveal the "real" competition to the one going home. They play the hidden footage for the contestant that is going home and show them what a douche bag they really are.

I am amazed by these people. I know that this is a reality TV show and that parts of it could be staged. I like to believe it isn't because I find that it makes for more entertaining viewing. I can't help but be sucked into this show. For years I have been saying that common courtesy is dead. I mostly blame the cell phone but that is an entirely different rant so I won't go into it. The problem with watching this show is that I was already acutely aware of the lack of niceness and common courtesy in the world around me and now I feel as though it is lit up by spot lights and being enhanced by a microscope.

Today I went to the grocery store. Here are the things I witnessed...

1. I needed to walk in front of someone in an aisle. I said "pardon me." She sighed heavily and glared at me as though I was doing something wrong.

2. A child knocked a box of cereal off the shelve directly in front of his mother. The mother looked at the box and then walked away. She didn't pick it up. I find two issues here - 1. she was thoughtless and 2. she is teaching her child that this behavior is OK.

3. There was an old lady behind me in the line who had a cane and was leaning very heavily on the cart for balance. She looked distressed and uncomfortable. She only had about 12 things in her cart so I let her go ahead of me. It turned out that she had a leaking carton of milk that needed to be swapped out. I grabbed it and said that I would do it. The woman behind me sighed very loudly and said "I'm glad some people have all day because I don't." It was so rude and I wanted to punch her.

4. When I was leaving the store there was a woman in front of me going through the doors. Her cell phone started ringing so she stopped walking (in the doorway, completely blocking it) and started digging through her bag to find it. I said "Excuse me, can I squeeze by?" She had answered her phone before I asked and when hearing me said into her phone "Hold on, some pushy bitch needs to get by."

I was at the store for less then 30 minutes and these are just four of the dozen or so things that I saw that disgusted me. Believe it or not there are more. I am saddened by how people have become so self centered that they don't even seem to notice that how they are acting is unpleasant. I always try to say excuse me, I hold doors for strangers, I yield and let others go ahead, I pick up things I drop, and most importantly I taught my children these same traits.

I am amazed at the end of every weeks episode when they show the contestant their behavior. They ALL say "Well that isn't really who I am" or "everyone else does those things too." There is simply no accountability. Are people really that oblivious to how they act? Have we, as a society, just decided that being helpful and using basic politeness is no longer important?

What has gone wrong with our society when you can get a glare for saying "excuse me?"

Next time you are out and about running your errands, whether on a busy stressful day or a laid back Sunday afternoon, pay attention to your own behavior. How do you react when you are inconvenienced? Do you remain calm and polite or are you the one doing the glaring? And how have you taught your children handle these situations?

So my sister went to the library...

...to get books for her four year old daughter. Like any unsuspecting parent would do, she let her daughter go to the children's section to pick out books. This has become an every Tuesday ritual for them, they typically get enough books to make it through a weeks worth of bedtime stories.

Well this weeks selection held a bit of a surprise for my sister. Imagine, if you will, what the story in a book called "Mommy Laid an Egg" would be about?

There is no easy way to describe this book so I have scanned the pages that I found to be the most informative. Before you look at the pictures I feel like it is only fair to tell you how the books starts...

It is innocent enough. Mommy and Daddy decide to tell little Jane & Johnny about where babies come from. We then go through about twelve pages of the normal childhood explanations, such as: sugar and spice, all things nice, slugs and snails, puppy dogs' tails, delivery by dinosaur, baked from cookie dough, found under a rock, squeezed from a tube, grown from a seed and hatched from an egg. OK, so some of these I had never heard before but they had wonderfully cute water color illustrations so I just went with the flow of the story. This part of the book ends with the "egg" exploding and babies shooting out (click on any image to view larger).

All is very simple and fairy tale like up to this point and then the kids decide to get serious and tell their parents the truth. Rather than describe these to you I will let you see for yourself.

First we learn about the basic anatomy of both mommy and daddy.

Then we get to see how they work together. I am curious as to why daddy's "seed pods" are so small in comparison to his "tube."

How DO they work together? Can you show me? Why, yes, I can. Thank you for asking.

Well first off you might want to try the old standard, what I like to call "Skateboard Sex." It is not as difficult as you might think. Look at how much fun mommy and daddy are having.

After you have mastered "Skateboard Sex" and "Circus Sex" you might want to move onto something a bit more complicated like "Hot Air Balloon Sex." Don't worry about daddy, he is not as frightened as he looks, he is just concentrating very hard on getting his tube into mommy's tube.

For the grand finale you might want to try "Space Hopper Sex." Daddy must do this one a lot to be able to do it no handed like that.

Once all the acrobatics are done the newly planted "seeds" must race their way to the egg so that we can make the baby! Swim boys, swim!!

Apparently there is a winner in this race. Is it the one that doesn't speak Ebonics? And do the "losers" really turn around and swim out? Where is the illustration to show us how the losers run down the inside of Mommy's leg? And who is that woman waiting to catch them?

The next few pages in the book show you how Mommy goes from being slightly round to completely HUGE ( I will spare you the pictures, by now we know they will not be pretty).

When Mommy is big enough...

So tell me, do you feel like you have a pretty good grasp of how this process works? If you were a child would this clear it up for you?

My nieces responses: "Tubes, yeah, right."

Fort Stewart Trip - Day Five - Tybee Island Adventures

We arrived about 6 so it was already dark but we went wandering anyway. This is a cool old tree on Butler Street.

See the demons in the tree?

We wondered around on the beach and it was in a word, awesome. Warm and windy and smelled terrific.

James was strangely attracted to these newspaper stands...

After our beach combing we were hungry so we went to look for a place to eat. Unfortunately it is Christmas eve in the "off season" on the island so there weren't many places to choose from. We ended up at a seafood place called Sting Rays. It was fantastic. We sat outside on the patio to eat where it was a bit chilly so they used the propane patio heaters to keep us warm. I am not complaining too much because we would never have been able to sit outside in MN even with a propane heater! Bailey and James had crab legs. Watching Bay eat them was a hoot.

Fort Stewart Trip - Day Five - Shopping with Bailey

Today Bailey and I had to check out of our hotel at 11 but James had to work until 2 so we had some time on our hands. We decided to go the Outlet Mall near Savannah. We found a used book store that was selling what seemed like the entire contents of a library...for $.99 per book. I bought seven hard cover books for $7.00. It was awesome. We also went to a toy store that was closing and got some fantastic deals on some Polly Pocket dolls for my niece.

We went to a store called Bealls Outlet that is similar to the TJ Maxx we have in Minnesota but much less organized. They had tons of cool "church" hats. Here are some...

James' Barricks & Jungle Gym

Ok, so it is not really a jungle gym but it sure looks like one!

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Fort Stewart Trip - Day Four - Downtown Savannah By Day

Today Bailey and I met Jessica at the Savannah Mall to do a bit of shopping. Bailey got a ton of stuff at a store called Rue 21. She found a bunch of t-shirts that were inexpensive and just her style. After the mall we decided to go downtown to see Savannah by day. We didn't get very far because we were hungry. We did revisit a store that was closed when we were there on Monday night. It is called 24e. Way cool home furnishings that I can't afford. It was open today so I was able to go inside. It was everything that I expected it to be and more. I LOVE this store.

This is the most amazing crystal light fixture I have ever seen. It is not only enormous but it is super duper sparkly. I WANT it. It is ONLY $3000 - that's all...


Here is Bailey and Jess in the cool white leather bar chairs...

Fort Stewart Trip - Day Three - Downtown Savannah By Night

We took a last minute trip to downtown Savannah. James' friend Jessica played tour guide - I was glad to have an "native" with us. It was beautiful but very chilly. We walked down to the river walk and got coffee. We went to this fantastic little candy store where Bailey bought a pound of candy to rot her teeth.

The "squares" in Savannah are so lovely. I am not sure what this one is called by I didn't want to leave and I was quite happy with how my photos turned out.


This is down by the river. Not a great photo but it was dark and my camera hates taking pictures at night!

Fort Stewart Trip - Day Three - Camo Everywhere

We had to follow this truck into a parking lot to get this shot...

Fort Stewart Trip - Day Three - Killing Time

Bay and I had some time to kill waiting for James to get off work so we wandered around the base. We were driving and saw all of these sappling trees that had decorations and wreaths on them. They were obviously mean as a memorial to something so we decided to stop and have a look. It was the Warrior's Walk.

There are so many things I could say here about the political side of the war and what my beliefs are in regards to them but instead I will just say this - it was sad, lovely and overwhelming. So many lives lost...

Let us not forget the men and women who protect our country. They do it not because they are forced to but because they are proud to.

Fort Stewart Trip - Day Three - Ranking Ceremony

Bailey and I slept in today (til noon). It was fantastic after the long drive here. I was tired and she is sick. We were just starting to plan our day when James called to tell us that they were going to do his promotion "ceremony" at 2 PM. If we could make it there we could watch. He called at 1:30!

We got dressed faster then I thought was possible and left for the base. Our hotel is close so it wasn't hard to find and only took a few minutes to get there. We had one hiccup along the way - we were visitors to the base and needed a pass. We were held up for a bit during that process but still made it in time to the "ceremony."

The ceremony consisted of all of James' D-FAC (dining facility) coworkers standing at attention while the Sergeant said some words. I was given the privilege of putting the lapel pins on for him. It was very awesome. After the pins were in place they went through the tradition of pounding them into his skin. It was both funny and disturbing.

Here are some pictures...

It's Humiliate the Pups Time Again.

The pictures from last year turned out so cute that I thought I should revisit it. The problem is that they are older and wiser...and much less cooperative! So instead of a half a box of Milk Bones it took closer to a full box and the after effects on there poor digestive systems were not fun. But, here are the best of the best...

Still cooperating -

Completely done cooperating -

Best Knife Set EVER! I love this.

The person who thought of this is a genius! Pure genius.

What they are teaching my son in the Army.

Newly Discovered Webcomic - XKCD.com

This is truly awesome!

A Walk Down Memory Lane

Today my ex brought over a box of my things that was at his house. It contained mostly memorabilia from my days in high school. It was awesome to look through the old magazines, notebooks, notes from friends and pictures in there. My favorite had to be the pictures from my prom when I lived in Arizona. My date was Christopher Gagne. Football playing hottie with a very nice ass. It is really too bad that due to the styles that were popular at the time that I didn't come close to matching his hotness. We would make a much better looking couple now then we did then. Have a look for yourself...

Here is Chris in his football uniform...


Here is his school picture...


Here we are preparing for prom...


Here we are with my friend Michelle Palmer and her date. I have been trying to find Michelle since I left Arizona. If by some chance of fate anyone sees this and recognizes her please contact me...

So many great memories. So much weird hair! Good times!!

Cute boys half my age.

I was going to continue the update of my life in this post but instead of all the boring & somewhat crappy things I have decided to write about my new friend Livingston.

I met him the day my son left for basic training. -Livingston, McCrutcheon (sp) and my son were all flying out to Fort Jackson together. I took them to lunch as their last supper in Minneapolis. It was a nice afternoon considering it was somewhat of a melancholy occasion. I admit that I especially liked the attention from these young strangers, who were baffled by my age and the fact that James is my son. My ego felt very good.

Well I saw Livingston at James' graduation and because James didn't have a cell at the time I gave him my number so he could keep in touch. I got a text message from him about a week ago and we have been exchanging messages ever since.

He is sweet, clever and naughty in equal portions. One of those slightly nerdy smart types that I fall for so easily. The only issue is that he is just about half my age! Since he is 1200 miles away and all of our communication has been via email or text it is easy to forget this. I had a friend tell me that if I was a near 40 year old man dating an early 20 something girl I would be a rock star.

I am not certain I want to stop flirting with this boy. I enjoy it. I like the attention and I have grown accustomed to getting his messages. I have started looking forward to them as a bright spot in my day. I am not sure I want it to stop.

If this is right then why does it feel shady?

James at Basic Training

I'm Back!

I am certain that what limited readership I had is now gone due to my inactivity so I guess I will post this just for the sake of posting my thoughts. If you are reading it, Thank you.

The past 6 months have been crazy. I started a new job on January 3rd and I feel like I haven't slept since. We have gone through so many changes that I have lost track of most of them. The most exciting, by far, has to be a complete infrastructure overhaul. We now have ALL new computers, monitors, server, backup system, wiring, router, and everything else. Clean start - not only did we upgrade all of the technology but we replaced the furniture as well. It is freaking awesome. I have spent the last month rearranging, assembly and installing software/hardware. I love the result but it has been tiring. Like having two full time jobs. One doing the production management and day to day client care and one as IT support. Tomorrow we go live on our new network and I can go back to sleeping at night.

Outside of work, what little time I spend there, has been just as crazy. My son joined the military in December and shipped off to basic training at the beginning of April and my daughter just finished her last year of junior high. They are so grown up. It is awe inspiring to look at them now. They aren't supposed to be this old yet. They aren't supposed to have their own lives yet. They should be more dependent on me. How come they don't realize this?

I have so much more to write but I need to get some sleep. I have an early start and a very long day ahead of me tomorrow. I miss posting here though, so I will be a more frequent writer from now on.

G'night.

Christmas Memories.

Well, Christmas is over and I wish I could say it was wonderful but I would be lying. It was "mostly" great but no where in the neighborhood of wonderful.

I do have some good memories though and mostly they were captured on film. I forgot to bring the disc with the rest of the photos on it with me today but I do have this picture - I took it and framed it as a gift to each of my kids. It only took an hour and a half and half a box of Milk bone dog treats to get this picture!

Merry Christmas - From Rudy & Henry!